The 13 Hilarious Things That Make You A True Shire Resident

Number 3 takes the cake

Cronulla Beach

Image credit: Studio Ahwa

There’s a tale as old as time that we, the people of the Shire, never cross the bridge, if at all. But why would we? Everything we need is right at our fingertips. However, we believe the criteria that qualifies someone as a true Shire resident extends a little longer, so without further adieu, here are the tell-tale signs. Do you qualify?


  1. You have waited for half-an-hour for a coffee at Grind (always worth it though).

  2. You’ve never considered yourself a ‘foodie’, but you’ve eaten at every restaurant in Cronulla. 

  3. Joining a run club is your new Tinder (extra points if that run club route is The Esplanade).

  4. You’ve waited in front of Miranda’s fig tree to meet someone at Westfield.

  5. You have been personally victimised (and inconvenienced) by the parking in Cronulla. 

  6. You can count on one hand how many times you’ve crossed the forbidden bridge. 

  7. You maintain that the Feros Group is the Shire’s version of Merivale. 

  8. Walking The Esplanade is your favourite pastime.

  9. You’ve joined a group-training style gym. 

  10. Allambie (a.k.a Candy Cane Lane) is a must-visit every Christmas. 

  11. You've fought anyone who has said there is a better apple martini than the one from Alphabet St. 

  12. You have very strong opinions about the Vinyl Room.

  13. You’re having a good day when you get the train with the ‘flippy’ seats.

 

Posted: February 2024

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